you were once
the star in my heart.

i still can’t believe that you’re gone because
i still hear your voice
and i still see your face
everywhere.

i thought that i’m already okay
but listening to people talking about you
chokes me up again
and then i try to hide
and to repress the feeling
and wipe away those tears
and reminding myself that you’re okay now
you’re okay now.

i still feel that
i have taken your presence for granted because
the day i left
i think that i will still hear your voice
your soothing voice
and the beautiful songs you wrote
beautiful but sad songs you wrote
and your dino face
your bright dino face, smiling

and all the what ifs still playing in my head
what if
what if
what if
what if i stayed.

will it make a difference?

i didn’t know that you have left such an impression in my life
i didn’t know that you’re already a part of my life (i’m lying i know)
and when you lose it
it hurts
and it still hurts
but
but
but

but i know that you didn’t want us to hurt anymore.
but we know we know we know yet it still hurts.
i’m sorry.

and i’m still feeling sorry for a lot of things i don’t know whether i have to feel sorry or no.

for that, i’m sorry too.

i don’t know if i miss you or no
i mean,
it feels like you’re still here
but you’re not and
every time i realize that
i still feel like crying

happy birthday, love.
i remember the day i’m so happy to find that our birthday is just one month apart, and from that day i always remember your birthday.

so happy birthday, my love,
may you shine brightly
brightly brightly brightly
blindingly,
may we meet again in another time and space.

i miss you.

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