Maybe because there’s no more
holding hands
and this winter is so cold
without your fingers intertwined with mine and the
snow keep falling

I saw the first snow
alone, unlike all those years
as my clenching fists slowly turned white

That day,
I wander around trying to understand and
stopped by a small shop
as my eyes look around and I found
a pair of black wool gloves
that reminds me of

I bought it
my very first pair
for this winter
maybe deep down I know that I’d need it
because there’s no longer

After years,
I still love winter
in a different way
a beautiful, strange way
because every winter without you
I’ll buy a pair of mittens,

and cry.


After you left me,
I bought my first pair of mittens.

Radio writing staff Kim Jae Yeon’s
Blonote p. 58-59

(Random things I wrote months ago for the forgotten project about writing with prompt from Blonote but since today is Epik High’s 14th anniversary and the release of their 9th album We’ve Done Something Wonderful, I decided to post this. Prompt chosen by randomly opened the book – hope I could write another. Wish me well.) 



Campur aduk. Disatu sisi ingin mengumpat, di sisi lain ingin memberi semangat. Bangga tapi ingin mencela. Itu aku,
dan aku masih begitu,
maka aku tahu semua berulang karena itu,

Mungkin semuanya terjadi memang alasannya adalah
dan aku.
Makanya tidak ada perubahan berarti,
datang dan pergi lagi dan lagi.

Daya tarik menariknya mungkin sudah meluntur,
ketika aku tahu hal ini dan itu.
Dan yang bernama hidup datang
sampai pada satu hari,

aku sudah lupa rasanya menyisipkanmu dalam doa.
(salahku, lagi.)


(Atribusi internal sedang menguat.)

#daythree: Red

Warm liquid dripping on the floor, the time
she started to make some cut for
stopping the noises in your head,
she feels like cutting bread instead
Look, it’s strawberry jam!
one lick for every damn
Sweet, sour, salty,
kinda ironic.

The taste of your skin that
makes her feel so alive,

see you tomorrow, at five.

[day three: skin]

#daytwo: Land Faraway

a princess, the knight told me

lonely as she never should be
on a cloudy night, he promises
“vow to me, then i shall never
end up like the last endeavor,”

lies after lies that she was sick of
entrusted to the words called love
that very night the knight surprised me
toning down the story he didn’t even see
ending, a happy ending
ransacked, torn apart, dying


[day two: gift, acrostic]

#dayone: Distant

i hate it when
my screen goes bright
a sudden pop up
but it’s not your name

i hate it when
my screen goes blur
puddles in my eyes
i’m trying to inhale

i hate it when
my screen goes dark
and there’s no way
to revive it again

[day one: screen]